Obzezzed

I have become obsessed in covering glassware with clay canes.  I post a pic of them a couple of blogs back and since then they are steadily growing in number.  I don't know why I keep making them, other than the fact that I like making them but I have been without craft inspiration for so long, I'm thinking of following this to the bitter end.  It may mean that I will have to go to a craft show to sell them or foist them off on friends as birthday gifts.  That is if I can bear to part with them.

I think this lack of inspiration stems from the fire.  Yes, I will blame everything on the fire.  I wonder if it is that my brain won't give me ideas because what's the use?  I'll make something only to lose it again.  So I'm taking advantage of this spurt to clay and clay until my fingers fall off.

It's been a little more than a year since the fire.  I have had only one dream about it and it wasn't even the fire itself.  I had  adream that I had Isabella (the missing cat) in my arms and I said something like "She's not hurt at all only dirty."  I know now I won't see her again and it's hard, especially since the cat we have left had decided that anything on the floor of my bed room can be peed on.  sigh.

Maybe I woudl get over this all the faster if Michael didn't keep asking me if I wanted to go back to the hotel to live or if he would stop threatening to drive past the rental home.  Neither place ever made me feel really comfortable and, tot tell, the truth, home still doesn't feel like home.  It still feel impermanent as if I am just visiting and waiting to go home.  I love the house now with its colors and sunlight but it still isn't quite home.  Maybe come summer when I'm on the deck or visiting with the animals who have made the trip over the rainbow bridge, I will begin to feel settled.  I hope it happens soon.  I am weary of bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. Like now.  Maybe I should just stop dropping hats.