This has brought everything back

I'm on an internet list.  One of the list members posted that her sister was injured in a house fire.  Injured to the point that she is sedated against the pain.  Injured to the point where her lungs are seared.  The sister lost everything including her pets and has no insurance. 

I couldn't sleep the night I found out about this all. I would not wish a house fire on ANYONE.  Here is one that involved loss of life and an injured woman.  I got off easy in comparison but it still it haunts me.  I wonder if it will always haunt me.  i really do not need something else playing with my head and no matter how much I tell my head to leave me alone, it won't.

I really can't do anything to help the list member and her sister but I did send some suggestions for the injured woman's daughters to help them with the mess afterwards.  It's not much but I am glad I had something to offer and if what I learned in my aftermath.  This way I feel that all that I lost was not in vain.


And then this morning, still racked by the horror of a fire injury, I looked around my new bedroom and sighed.  Then I smiled and then I threw my arms wide and announced as loudly as I could "Bedroom, I LOVE YOU!"  I do, I love the bed room and the craft room (though the paint I chose is a bit too dark) and the living room and the kitchen.  No paneling anywhere and sun, sun streaming in through doors and windows.  I LOVE MY HOUSE!  Even the plain white bedroom and the off white laundry room.  I love my deck and my bay window and my yellow walls.  I have little furniture on which to place Christmas decorations but I decorated the top of my kitchen cabinets and ...well... I love my kitchen.

So if I keep all of this firmly in my head, I will beat my fire memories.  I will learn to accept what I lost but I doubt that I will ever stop looking for Isabella the cat that went missing.

Even so... things could have been so much worse.  I hope that sometime in the future the list member's sister can come to terms with all that happened to her.  I wish for her to have a day when she sees something new in her life that she loves and wouldn't have had without the fire.

Without the fire I would still be in my dark house with its accumulation of years of possessions and not this light airy sparse house where I have made thing JUST THE WAY I WANT THEM!  What more could anyone want?