Thinking of all that has happened lately has gotten me to thinking. Somehow, it makes perfect sense to this Oddz Bodkinz kind of life of mine that my house would burn. Really now, anything less would have been, well, abnormal. Remember I am the one who nearly died from mumps, measles and scarlet fever all inflicted at the same time when I was only an infant. Then there is the crochet hook up my spine at 2, the spectacular flight from the back of a nasty horse that had to kick me on my way to the ground.
In my adult... I nearly said grown up... life there was the bank robbery The one I was in as head teller with a gun at her head. The convulsion during labor which resulted in an emergency c-section. The attack of ghe furious mother pig who insisted on laying on her piglets and didn't like my interference. Let's not forget two old farts chasing ban robbers... onto.... ta da house fire.
I must admit that it all seems so very improbable. I remember standing by the fence watching that ugly yellow smoke oozing out of every nook and cranny and thinking that it looked like a scene from hell and yet it didn't seem to affect me. I had just taken my nightly meds when the husband woke me and sent me next door but even then why was I so nonchalant? Again it's oddz bodkinz kind of things.
It is now slowly settling in and I think of some treasure and my heart breaks. Oddly the treasures I think of aren't worth a hell of a lot, if anything at all. Today while looking through a drawer I rescued from the pile of junk to be carted away, I found this small ceramic dog that I named Petey a life time ago. 44 years ago, in fact, when I bought him at a local Woolworth's. You would have thought I had found my weight in gold instead of a pooch with a broken toe. Still, something else will pop into my mind reminding me of what I lost and then I need to take myself away, hide away so that no one knows that I am crying. If I cry I'm told that I shouldn't because it could have been worse and my dogs or cats or sons could have burned to death. Thank you but the pain doesn't seem to pay much attention to it.
I found a cache of poly clay people that I made and who ended up smokey and a bit stained. Oh how I need those smiling little faces looking up at me. I have set up my craft room but it tends to depress me because it's not MY craft room, not my house. All I want to do is go home... only it sits so broken and alone.
I do try to look at the best. We all got out. We'll have a practicly new house but I'm 60 so big spit. How long will I have in the so called new house? Five years?
And to put cap on it ll mu younger son now refuses to have anything to do with me because I facebooked about the fire before contacting him. I tried to explain that my phone was on the kitchen table and I hadn't grabbed it going out the door, I don't know anyone's number because my phone was programmed so once the neighbor called the fire department I asked her son if he had younger son's number. He didn't so he face booked friends asking for it only no one answered. He then face booked again mentioning the fire and then he got my son's number. He called to tell him but got only voice mail. In the meantime, I had emailed younger son and when we still had not heard from him, I put it on facebook hoping that someone he was with would see it and tell him.
Well when son finally showed up, he was furious with me and would not forgive me that I didn't know his number. MIdway through cursing me out, my neighbor stepped in and son left.and has not spoken to me since. He's even buying a house that I have not seen and I doubt that I will. I don't want to intrude so I'll have to wait for an invitation. That I doubt I 'll get. I swear I don't know what people want from me can't they just cut me some slack and accept me the way I am? Flaws and all. I guess in this oddz bodkinz life I shouldn't be surprised that my son has disowned me.
WHo nows what will happen next. Stay tuned. I bet it'll be a doozy.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
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