I haven't felt well in some time. Not one thing I could put my finger on but more of a lethargy and a disinterest in what it going on around me.
The puppy seems to be the only thing anchoring me. He makes me laugh, when I don't laugh at anything. His exuberance is refreshing and his sheer delight in the silliest of things warms my heart.
I try to post happy things on Facebook, but it's forcing myself and I'm so tired of forcing myself.
We are supposed to be going on a mini vacation to Southern Maryland and I do not want to go. It was originally to Wildwood NJ but that enticed me even less. I thought this southern Maryland thing would be a good idea because MIchael likes water and light houses and there are both. I don't have a bathing suit and do not intend on buying one. truthfully I'd just like to sleep the days away instead of forcing myself to pretned that I am interested in whatever.
NOw I have a secret that I want to get out but it's a weird secret and I can't burden anyone with it. But it has to be said. I have to say it and put it out into the universe. It has to do with a pendulum and when I die. Not pass on, pass away, expire but DIE. Let's just say I will be lucky to see Halloween. See why I don't tell it to anyone personally. First they'd think I was a crack pot and then they'd think they'd have to tell me that I couldn't count on something like that and then they would feel that they would have to tell me that they would miss me. I shouldn't be morbid. I shouldn't wish it. Yammer yammer. with it here and if it happens (if it doesn't I am going to be seriously pissed because I"ve been holding off getting teeth) I want it known that it was predicted.
Yes I suffer from depression. No I'm not depressed. I am just so weary of everything and want to be over that rainbow bridge where I will wait, with my gone before furchildren waiting for these young canine furbabies.
So that's that. I'd like to say that it's been fun but it hasn't. I really am ready.
Oh and I will take nothing into my own hands. I couldn't do that to my left behinds. And, even more so, I promised them I wouldn't. I always keep my promises.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Dog Dynamicz
I love watching the big dogs and the puppy interact with each other and often find myself amazed.
Now that the big dogs no longer think of Sparky as something foreign and, therefore, to be avoided at all costs they are working out their own pack dynamics.
I would have thought that Kali, being the female would want to do the mothering. All she does do is allow Sparky to pull on her face and play with him as long as it's on her terms. Charlie is the disciplinarian and a single harsh bark form him will stop Sparky in his tracks. In fact, Charlie even play referee when Kali and Sparky are playing. If Charlie thinks that the puppy is becoming too rambunctious he lets him know with that famous one note bark. I had always said that Charlie reminded me of Matt Dillon, slow and seemingly none too bright. It seems as if I was right. Charlie is the Sheriff.
Yesterday I let all three out on the deck. Kali was the first one down and disappeared into the bamboo. Charlie followed while Sparky stayed on the deck, too tired to take those steps. We heard a little dog bark, answered by an unfamiliar big dog bark. The barks bounced back and forth like a vocal tennis match and Sparky's head turned right, then left, then right, following the sound till be dog bark changed and Kali came running back to the deck to sit beside Sparky while Charlie defended us all with a volley of bark until the big dog that was barking was silenced. Then here comes Charlie with his sheriff's badge all polished, returning his six shooter to its holster while Miss Kitty and Festus awaited his return. (ok so I let my imagination wander a bit there)
Only once Charlie gave the all clear by touching noses, they all went down the steps and off to do whatever they do in the bamboo and overgrown grass. I have noticed that Sparky takes his cue from Charlie. I'm hoping he will soon figure out the poop outside thing and the doggy door even if it is only to come into the house. sparky is growing my leaps and bounds with feet the size of ping pong paddles. Kali lost that hunted, on the verge of a breakdown look, that she had before I told her she could kick ass and Charlie keeps his badge neatly shined since he is the boss, head honcho, sheriff.
Meanwhile, Sparky aka Badger Boy continues to make us laugh with his unbridled joy in all things. His latest toy, one he chose himself from a craft room, is a ball of ugly yarn which he has unrolled and, I swear has started macramaing into something outrageous, He loves his pool and the small fan we leave running just for him and the only down side in his life is that $%#( tail that follows him wherever he goes and is always out of reach.
I love having these goof balls. I will always miss my dogs that have gone before but these guys help to heal my terribly battered heart.
Now that the big dogs no longer think of Sparky as something foreign and, therefore, to be avoided at all costs they are working out their own pack dynamics.
I would have thought that Kali, being the female would want to do the mothering. All she does do is allow Sparky to pull on her face and play with him as long as it's on her terms. Charlie is the disciplinarian and a single harsh bark form him will stop Sparky in his tracks. In fact, Charlie even play referee when Kali and Sparky are playing. If Charlie thinks that the puppy is becoming too rambunctious he lets him know with that famous one note bark. I had always said that Charlie reminded me of Matt Dillon, slow and seemingly none too bright. It seems as if I was right. Charlie is the Sheriff.
Yesterday I let all three out on the deck. Kali was the first one down and disappeared into the bamboo. Charlie followed while Sparky stayed on the deck, too tired to take those steps. We heard a little dog bark, answered by an unfamiliar big dog bark. The barks bounced back and forth like a vocal tennis match and Sparky's head turned right, then left, then right, following the sound till be dog bark changed and Kali came running back to the deck to sit beside Sparky while Charlie defended us all with a volley of bark until the big dog that was barking was silenced. Then here comes Charlie with his sheriff's badge all polished, returning his six shooter to its holster while Miss Kitty and Festus awaited his return. (ok so I let my imagination wander a bit there)
Only once Charlie gave the all clear by touching noses, they all went down the steps and off to do whatever they do in the bamboo and overgrown grass. I have noticed that Sparky takes his cue from Charlie. I'm hoping he will soon figure out the poop outside thing and the doggy door even if it is only to come into the house. sparky is growing my leaps and bounds with feet the size of ping pong paddles. Kali lost that hunted, on the verge of a breakdown look, that she had before I told her she could kick ass and Charlie keeps his badge neatly shined since he is the boss, head honcho, sheriff.
Meanwhile, Sparky aka Badger Boy continues to make us laugh with his unbridled joy in all things. His latest toy, one he chose himself from a craft room, is a ball of ugly yarn which he has unrolled and, I swear has started macramaing into something outrageous, He loves his pool and the small fan we leave running just for him and the only down side in his life is that $%#( tail that follows him wherever he goes and is always out of reach.
I love having these goof balls. I will always miss my dogs that have gone before but these guys help to heal my terribly battered heart.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Mama'z baby
Yesterday was the first day I went back to work after getting Sparky. All the dogs did fine but I think the baby missed me most because he "dogged" my fotsteps wherever I went. When I took the dogs out for a bathroom break, Sparky would follow them then dash back to check if I was where he left me and then dashed off again. Such short legs for so much energy.
When we moved back into the rebuilt house, we chose a glass door for the living room, which gives the dogs a clear view to the street and heaven help you if you walk up or down the street without getting permission from the street monitors first. They get so fired up, the forget they have a doggy door in the basement. Instead the glass door is smeared with dog snot, bark breath and who know what all. Yesterday Sparky joined in the melee, though I doubt whether he knew just what he was barking at or just barking because he could. Then when I opened the door all three of them tried to get out of the door at the same time and succeeding very badly. It was like shuffling a deck of dogs: Charlie's in front, then Kali, Charlie, Charlie, Sparky was crammed in there somewhere. Finally they managed to burst out of the door but the guy in the street was gone and Sparky really looked quite confused by the whole thing. But he's always ready to join in with bark and running and, of course hopping, he loves to hop my Badger Boy.
I'm ready to head home now. I need a puppy's tummy to nibble, a big boy's hug to squish me into my mattress and a smart girls head to pat and chest to rub. Got my work cut out for me.
YAH!
When we moved back into the rebuilt house, we chose a glass door for the living room, which gives the dogs a clear view to the street and heaven help you if you walk up or down the street without getting permission from the street monitors first. They get so fired up, the forget they have a doggy door in the basement. Instead the glass door is smeared with dog snot, bark breath and who know what all. Yesterday Sparky joined in the melee, though I doubt whether he knew just what he was barking at or just barking because he could. Then when I opened the door all three of them tried to get out of the door at the same time and succeeding very badly. It was like shuffling a deck of dogs: Charlie's in front, then Kali, Charlie, Charlie, Sparky was crammed in there somewhere. Finally they managed to burst out of the door but the guy in the street was gone and Sparky really looked quite confused by the whole thing. But he's always ready to join in with bark and running and, of course hopping, he loves to hop my Badger Boy.
I'm ready to head home now. I need a puppy's tummy to nibble, a big boy's hug to squish me into my mattress and a smart girls head to pat and chest to rub. Got my work cut out for me.
YAH!
Monday, July 15, 2013
DOGZ! Puppy too
we have a new puppy. New as in just about 8 weeks old. New as in he has been our for only 8 days.
We named him Sparky. the Husband, however, is always asking "What's his name again ?" So it's a wonder that Sparky doesn't think that's his name.
I've had a number of puppies in my time but none of them have been such a buster as Sparky. He was once called Number One and then referred to as Unflappable and the second name fits him to a T.
We have a very large fenced in yards with over grown grass in some sections, cut bamboo and tree limbs stacked in two piles. There's live bamboo that sways in the wind and a rabbit burrow as well as a hedge hog burrow, a deck, doggie door, puppy pool, people passing to bark at and a mound of dirt to sit on, or dig into. That's a lot of yard and you would think that a puppy would find it intimidating. Not Sparky, he just barrels forward, not caring if he's in the company of the big dogs or on his own.
the big dogs were none too happy with a puppy. That really surprised me because they had taken to each other so readily and when they lived next door after the fire, the were great friends with their dog and cats. Sparky would make Kali cower, while Charlie would do his best to make himself invisible. That was not what I had planned when I got this puppy and I was heart broken.
Then, by dumb luck, I had realized what I had done. I had been telling the dogs that there was a puppy coming and that they had to be nice to him and not hurt him and so the dogs were afraid to go near him. but once I gave each big dog permission to kick Sparky's ass suddenly they were playing.
Josh calls one game the Puppy Tabernacle Choir. It consists of Kali on that awful turd brown sofa of ours and Sparky on the floor. Sparky yaps, Kali does some odd hop twirl dance and then sings tohim in a wooop wooop kind of way, then furiously scratches at the sofa. Yip yap, wooop wooop and then Charlie breaks in with his high pitched girlie voice and you can't hear yourself think. Yet all tails are wagging furiously and no one gets hurt.
Charlie and Kali have always played a game we call Hungry Hungry Hippos, after the kids' game. They throw themselves at each other, mouths open making faux growling sounds and play that till one of them either takes off running or falls to the ground.... ok... knocked to the ground. Since Sparky is only a little bigger than Charlie's head, it would be a dangerous game for a little guy. Only...... not if Charlie throws himself flat on the ground and hungry hungry hippos Sparky by only raising his head. More growls, puppy goes rolling over and over only to scramble to his feet and attack once again.
Charlie has appointed himself Sparky's guardian and wherever the puppy is Charlie isn't far behind. So big and so little and yet they already are buddies. Kali isn't all that affectionate to Sparky but she loves to run and he loves to chase her. She'll circle the house twice to his almost one, but she doesn't care. It had gotten so that Charlie can catch her, the baby can't but it isn't from a lack of trying.
Then when Sparky is pooped out he bounces into his puppy pool where he furiously tries to dig out all the water ending up soaked to the skin and looking a sorry mess. He doesn't care and enjoys a good dry but only if he can hold onto the end of the towel and you drag him about the floor. He likes mops too but he rides them more than is dragged.
Sparky wants to be where it is cool and doesn't favor one air conditioning vent over another. They're all the same to him. If he wants to snooze but the air isn't on, his very own fan is enough for him and he sleeps with his nose nearly touching the grill of the fan. And if that isn't cool enough, heck, sooner of later someone is going to open the fridge and he is going to crawl inside and settle down. Until last night he slept in my room with me but now that he and the dogs are such pals, I've been deserted. that's fine with me. I prefer to sleep with my door closed.
There is so much more about this little soul who has come into our lives. I don't remember the last time I was this happy, or laughed as much.
I have an angel looking out for me. She doesn't know it but Vancy is my angel. She fostered Sparky's mom and then the puppies when they came and she moved heaven and earth so I could get my Sparky who was born in Texas and made the 1700 mile journey to my arms. I will never be able to repay Vancy or thank her enough but I do know there will be a special place in heaven or over the rainbow bridge for her.
How could it be otherwise. Thank you Vancy.
We named him Sparky. the Husband, however, is always asking "What's his name again ?" So it's a wonder that Sparky doesn't think that's his name.
I've had a number of puppies in my time but none of them have been such a buster as Sparky. He was once called Number One and then referred to as Unflappable and the second name fits him to a T.
We have a very large fenced in yards with over grown grass in some sections, cut bamboo and tree limbs stacked in two piles. There's live bamboo that sways in the wind and a rabbit burrow as well as a hedge hog burrow, a deck, doggie door, puppy pool, people passing to bark at and a mound of dirt to sit on, or dig into. That's a lot of yard and you would think that a puppy would find it intimidating. Not Sparky, he just barrels forward, not caring if he's in the company of the big dogs or on his own.
the big dogs were none too happy with a puppy. That really surprised me because they had taken to each other so readily and when they lived next door after the fire, the were great friends with their dog and cats. Sparky would make Kali cower, while Charlie would do his best to make himself invisible. That was not what I had planned when I got this puppy and I was heart broken.
Then, by dumb luck, I had realized what I had done. I had been telling the dogs that there was a puppy coming and that they had to be nice to him and not hurt him and so the dogs were afraid to go near him. but once I gave each big dog permission to kick Sparky's ass suddenly they were playing.
Josh calls one game the Puppy Tabernacle Choir. It consists of Kali on that awful turd brown sofa of ours and Sparky on the floor. Sparky yaps, Kali does some odd hop twirl dance and then sings tohim in a wooop wooop kind of way, then furiously scratches at the sofa. Yip yap, wooop wooop and then Charlie breaks in with his high pitched girlie voice and you can't hear yourself think. Yet all tails are wagging furiously and no one gets hurt.
Charlie and Kali have always played a game we call Hungry Hungry Hippos, after the kids' game. They throw themselves at each other, mouths open making faux growling sounds and play that till one of them either takes off running or falls to the ground.... ok... knocked to the ground. Since Sparky is only a little bigger than Charlie's head, it would be a dangerous game for a little guy. Only...... not if Charlie throws himself flat on the ground and hungry hungry hippos Sparky by only raising his head. More growls, puppy goes rolling over and over only to scramble to his feet and attack once again.
Charlie has appointed himself Sparky's guardian and wherever the puppy is Charlie isn't far behind. So big and so little and yet they already are buddies. Kali isn't all that affectionate to Sparky but she loves to run and he loves to chase her. She'll circle the house twice to his almost one, but she doesn't care. It had gotten so that Charlie can catch her, the baby can't but it isn't from a lack of trying.
Then when Sparky is pooped out he bounces into his puppy pool where he furiously tries to dig out all the water ending up soaked to the skin and looking a sorry mess. He doesn't care and enjoys a good dry but only if he can hold onto the end of the towel and you drag him about the floor. He likes mops too but he rides them more than is dragged.
Sparky wants to be where it is cool and doesn't favor one air conditioning vent over another. They're all the same to him. If he wants to snooze but the air isn't on, his very own fan is enough for him and he sleeps with his nose nearly touching the grill of the fan. And if that isn't cool enough, heck, sooner of later someone is going to open the fridge and he is going to crawl inside and settle down. Until last night he slept in my room with me but now that he and the dogs are such pals, I've been deserted. that's fine with me. I prefer to sleep with my door closed.
There is so much more about this little soul who has come into our lives. I don't remember the last time I was this happy, or laughed as much.
I have an angel looking out for me. She doesn't know it but Vancy is my angel. She fostered Sparky's mom and then the puppies when they came and she moved heaven and earth so I could get my Sparky who was born in Texas and made the 1700 mile journey to my arms. I will never be able to repay Vancy or thank her enough but I do know there will be a special place in heaven or over the rainbow bridge for her.
How could it be otherwise. Thank you Vancy.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Right now I feel like ripping the face off someone.
I just got off the phone with a client (a man) who was pissing and moaning to me about stuff and wanting to know how much time he had left to stay in his house. His house was foreclosed upon and part of our business is to assist homeowners afterwards. So I (important fact) check the court records each week and notify each client as to their status. When paperwork needs to be sent to the court, I (an important fact to remember) am the one who scrutinizes the filing, finds the errors and then write up letter to be sent. I even include a copy for their files, typed envelopes and I (still important) even fill out the certified mail cards and send everything to the client.
SO FOR GOD'S SAKE CAN YOU TELL ME WHY THAT WHEN SOMETHING COMES UP THEY CALL MICHAEL? Who has to look to the work I (really really important) do to give them the answer. Who has to pull out their paper file while I have the info in my head and on the computer and I can access it so much faster.
Just think that ex slaves earned the right to vote before women and they elected a man to the Presidentcy who never had any governing experience over a slightly batty woman who ruled a whole STATE for crying out loud. all of these minority groups are crying unfair for being judged by their color or religion and yet how do they treat their women?
I want to rip someone's face off right now. I am so sick of this crap from men that living in a cave on a mountain side looks good... as long as I can take some craft supplies with me.
I know ranting and raving won't change it but for god's sake give women a chance. Open your ears and listen to what they are saying and not what yo THINK they are saying. And don't be so afraid of us simply because we can do twenty things and once while you have your one track mind and usually that's closed for repairs or your train of thought has derailed and spilled slimey stuff all over the tracks. You know who will get stuck with the mess don't you? Hand me my bucket and mop momma's going in.
Even my dogs are sexist. They are all over the men, kissing and loving and hanging out with them but one snap of a firecracker or the sound of a siren and suddenly they are sitting on MY feet. What? Hey! Go find Daddy or Josh. They ave feet too!
Arrrghhhhhhh.
SO FOR GOD'S SAKE CAN YOU TELL ME WHY THAT WHEN SOMETHING COMES UP THEY CALL MICHAEL? Who has to look to the work I (really really important) do to give them the answer. Who has to pull out their paper file while I have the info in my head and on the computer and I can access it so much faster.
Just think that ex slaves earned the right to vote before women and they elected a man to the Presidentcy who never had any governing experience over a slightly batty woman who ruled a whole STATE for crying out loud. all of these minority groups are crying unfair for being judged by their color or religion and yet how do they treat their women?
I want to rip someone's face off right now. I am so sick of this crap from men that living in a cave on a mountain side looks good... as long as I can take some craft supplies with me.
I know ranting and raving won't change it but for god's sake give women a chance. Open your ears and listen to what they are saying and not what yo THINK they are saying. And don't be so afraid of us simply because we can do twenty things and once while you have your one track mind and usually that's closed for repairs or your train of thought has derailed and spilled slimey stuff all over the tracks. You know who will get stuck with the mess don't you? Hand me my bucket and mop momma's going in.
Even my dogs are sexist. They are all over the men, kissing and loving and hanging out with them but one snap of a firecracker or the sound of a siren and suddenly they are sitting on MY feet. What? Hey! Go find Daddy or Josh. They ave feet too!
Arrrghhhhhhh.
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