Stuffity stuff stuff

A sign hanging in the window of a small chinese restaurant

Pain? No Qi/Energy? Living accupuncture....yada yda yada

Living Accupuncture? I suppose it makes more sense to accupuntcture the living instead of the dead because the dead really don't need energy. If they do, they have a word for that ZOMBIE!

Mis-hearing LLB offers free shitting. Tra la!

On to a question for today.

How does this alpha thing work?

Animals are drawn to me. Dogs, cats, Pigs, goats, mostly every animal except for horses. Our dislike is mutual.

Anyhow, dogs are always dragging their owners toward me so that we can 'talk'. They sniff and lick and make fools of themselves. I thought it must be pheromones
that I emit. However, today, the alpha dog thing worked with a dog in his car, parked next to our car and we both had our windows rolled up. The husband noticed this dog first and pointed out to me that that dog was attracted to me.

Could it be scent? I know that dogs have excellent sniffers but I am thinking that maybe it could be auras. All I do know is that animals are as drawn to me as I am to them. It makes me feel good. Makes me feel special and I don't often feel special. But it has, now, also made me think and once I have a question stuck in my head it won't go away until I get an answer.

There's a second question stuck in my head that happened last night.

I was watching World War II in color. (nothing else of interest was on). Now I know we've all seen those pictures of villagers welcoming in the liberating army, usually the good guys because, well, we live in good guys land. So there those raggedy villagers are, beaming and waving little American flags.... in FRANCE or ITALY or name the country of your choice. My question is where do they get those flags to wave? Is there a peddler who goes before the army and sells the flags? How else do they get the flags, I doubt they had a stash of them tucked away in their merry little cottages. Wouldn't they have to have a flag for each approaching army? How likely is that. I suppose I could google it but then I would have to figure out how to search for it.

Sometimes I wish my head would leave me alone and stop putting these questions into my brain.

I

Oh no he didn't!

The Husband is on a diet. The Atkins diet which limits him to eating anything but bark and dirt. Not really but it feels like that when I'm trying to make meals interesting, like coating chicken and or pork chops with crushed pork rinds. Do you know how awkward it is to crush pork rinds?

He's been on this diet once before and so we know what to expect. Last time he didn't cheat at all this time...well.... That's where this story starts.

The Husband is sitting in the living room watching TV. He's always been a cruncher, preferring pretzels and other crunchy stuff while watching TV. Which is probably why he has to lose some weight. So one night, while I was safely away in the craft room he spies a bright yellow bag of People Crackers sitting on a tray. The bag is already open and ripe for the picking and so, since the diet police aren't around... namely me... he takes a couple of the cute people shaped crackers and put them in his mouth.

He chewed once then spat it all out thinking that they had gone bad till he picked up the bag looked at it closely and realized he'd just eaten DOG TREATS!!!!!

Maybe he's discovered a new diet. The dog treat diet. The stuff tastes so bad you don't want to eat ANYTHING.

BTW Little dog Ollie doesn't like the people crackers either. I threw them outside for the birds. But wait... what if the birds are on Atkins? We are going to have some plump sparrows a=hanging about.