I've stopped crafting. I don't know if it's for now or forever. All I do know is that it took me ages to do something rather simple and it looked like crap when I was finished with it. I just can't craft decently since the fire and so I give up. Fire won.
So there I sit in the craft room at the table watching TV not knowing what to do with myself. Can't watch TV in the living room because Michael has claimed that and the rocker which leaves me with the turd colored sofa unless Charlie and Kali are spread all across it. I have no seat in the living room so into the craft room I go. Yes, I know... MIchael has a TV in his room and he could watch it in there but the few times I have sat in his chair, some remark was made and I was booted out of it. Truthfully I don't much like the living room. I HATE HATE HATE that sofa that we had to buy for Michael to get that damned recliner. We have very little furniture in it and it feels king of sterile. I have only one TV... hey I don't rate a tray table, I'm certainly not going tor ate two tvs!
So there I sit with my hands in my lap watching tv. Sigh. It is pretty sad if you think about it and lately I have... been thinking about it I mean. All in all my life has been pretty sad and by now you'd think I'd have gotten used to it. There is one great consolation... I'm 61... I certainly can't expect to be around forever and I am anxious to cross that rainbow bridge... I have some dogs and cats and hopefully pigs waiting for me. Now THAT is heavenly.
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Get thee to Best Buy! I'm 3.5 years from the day another human being treated me to a near-death experience. I was never a TV person to start with, and I certainly didn't have the money. Putting a little TV with a WiFi-capable Blu Ray player in my studio and building that room into my nest was one of the best things I did.
ReplyDeleteWhile the TV is a HUGE help, the biggest life saver is a therapist specializing in trauma and PTSD. I can't stress this one enough.
Big hugs to you. Please know that EVERYTHING you are feeling is valid and perfectly normal.