Something I never thought I'd hear again

In an effort to make certain that we don't lose the house to foreclosure, the husband has decided to take out one of those old Fart reverse mortgage. That is if our first and second mortgages will accept short sales. With the climate of today's mortgage market, they just might.

Now, most days I feel as if I am older than dirt (thank you fibro myalgia). I've been married for far longer than I was single and remember such things as records, black and white TV's and no air conditioning, which meant that you couldn't buy Tastykakes peanut butter tandy takes in the summer because they would spoil in the heat. We had a client the other day who was BORN the year we were married. So far, however I have managed to miss most of the old fart pitfalls such as getting a man's haircut and wearing polyester pants with a shirt tucked in making it impossible for people to tell if I am make or female, standing in the middle of an aisle in a store with my mouth half open and such a blank look on my face that passerbys wonder if I had died in that spot and just forgotten to fall down not to mention CART LEANING! You've seen those people who practically lay across the handle and baby seat of their shopping cart as the inch along taking the aisle down the middle and only stopping when something else in the aisle prevents you from going around them. And here we thought Old Farts were clueless.

Back to the reverse mortgage. Mortgage guy came to fill out paperwork which took WAAAAAYYYYYYYY too long and required too much bull shitting on the husband's part and I had to sign a form that stated that Michael was taking out the reverse mortgage on his own because.... wait for it.... wait for it... I was TOO YOUNG! I'm guessing I'll never hear that again, so I'm savoring it while it lasts. ahhhhhhhhhh.

Now dag nabbit, I need me a cart to lean on.