Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

Had a wife and couldn't keep her
Put her in a pumpkin shell
and there he kept her
very well.

Yep, the rental house craft room fits this kid's rhyme perfectly.

The orange room as driving me mad. The table I was using in it was too small and I was so frustrated. This weekend we got me a five foot long table, that folds in the middle that JUST about fits the room and makes crafting so much easier. I think I can now stand the room until September, now if I had some inspiration.

Still working on that god awful inventory list. Everytime I sit to go over it again I'm reminded of what I will never have back. The first issue of KIdstreet News that I had written for. The article about Casey and his group that won the International Film Festival in D.C., the Star trek phone prize I won for Josh, and everything I had ever written since I was in the first grade. I wrote my first story the summer after first grade. It was about a kitten who was lost and who ended up being adopted by a mother rabbit and her hairless newborns. The new born rabbits loved the little black kitten. He had fur the bunnies didn't.

I never stopped writing from then on. I realize now it was an escape from a harmful childhood. It wasn't so much physical abuse, tho the belt was taken to me twice, but the emotional abuse that left me feeling as if I am a waste of skin and totally useless. In my writing I could be anyone. I could do anything and so I wrote and wrote and wrote... and lost all of it.

I shouldn't let this loss bother me and it usually doesn't but there are times it hits me so hard that it brings tears to my eyes but I don't cry. I tell myself the people and animals are safe and what more do I want?

So I take a breath and I go on. A bit wobbly but I go on.

On the up side. I looked at all my craft stuff that was sent to me and that which I bought as replacement and have come to a realization. I really don't need any more. Oh maybe a bottle of rubber cement or tape or something like that but no stamps or stamp pads or pape4r and the rest. I can quite happily craft with what I have.

As for clothes I have enough shirts and pants for 6 days at work and enough at home relaxed clothes for about that same time and that's enough as well. Shopping for replacement etc has shown me something I never noticed before. I keep buying the same stuff over and over. Round necked or v necked t-shirt either short or long sleeved and a pair of jeans. I look at blouses and the like but I buy the t-shirts, long sleeved and short. Different colors and patterns of course but the same style over and over. So I am now done buying replacement clothes for summer. No more clothes shopping, something that make me want to jump, ok hobble, for joy! I even have 2 count em 2 pairs of sneakers. one for winter one for summer. I just hope that nothing comes up where I have to be an adult and 'gasp' wear a dress and/or heels. Then I'm lost. For now, tho, it's one less thing I have to fuss with. Who needs the rest of the stuff? the books and pigs and knick knacks and all? Oh yes I liked what I had but now I can buy new, if I even bother. So while m y head tends to drag me down at times, reality pulls me back up and then the oddz bodkinz part of my life steps in and I walk out into the back yard and find Kali sitting in the middle of a bush and grinning like a fool. How could anyone be down with a bush sitting dog? Charlie wisely stays out of the bushes but he does love to sleep in the living room's bay window. Just like a cat only the cat, I do have, doesn't like to sit in the window.

ODDZ BODKINZ FOREVER!