Do over

I was reading an old blog of mine and thought how much better it is than this one. The other one was light hearted and fun while this one seems to be a doom and gloom. I suppose my outlook has changed that much and it is a shame. So what do I do about it? How do I get my version of lighthearted back?

Now I've never been a jolly person. I used to crack the people up at the library but that wasn't me but the crazy library lady. Now I only work with the husband and see few people outside of him. I'm not blaming him, well not exactly, but maybe if I was allowed to talk some, I'd get my use of language back but it is hard to want to talk when someone finishes your sentence (usually wrongly) or interrupts or just ignores you. When I do get to talk, I try to spit the words out so fast that I trip over my tounge and the words disappear.So I don't talk and I no longer write and, I guess, my heart has grown heavy.

It's as if I'm on some cosmic list that says I am not allowed to be light hearted or even happy and if happy does try to creep in.....WHAM! It's squashed flat.

Take, for instance, Rusty, the dog who I thought would be mine last Friday, only the Rusty lady said the gate to the driveway had to be replaced first and .. well.. still no gate. Or the puppies I see on craigslist which require either a boat load of money or an adoption application that I just cannot tackle. I used to be smart, you see but now, well, I guess as I've lost my teeth my intelligence has fallen out as well.

What do I do now? Do I keep on with the blog the way it is driving away my few readers? Do I give up a blog altogether? Do I start over?

I once made Michael a promise I now wish I had never made, but I DO keep my promises and so..........



To my readers, I'm sorry. I'd say I'd try to do better but what if this is my best?

My best. my best.