Hootchie and the Ghinese Buffet

I don't know what it is that made me notice her first. I think it was the man's straw fedora stuck to the back of her head, and I do mean stuck for the hat was actually vertical to the ground and i doubt that there was a force of nature at work. As she was being led to a table the world got a look at her shorts cut up to her cootchie and her unfettered breasts that dipped and swayed and jiggled and bounced but what had to be the topper was the black rubber RAIN BOOTS she wore with the outfit.

See Hootchie and her cootchie skimming shorts once was enough but I swear for the first fiftenn minutes of so the woman never put her butt in the chair as she strode back and forth from table to buffet and back again as the shorts rode higher and the 'girls' jiggled and wiggled and the boots made those sucking rain boot sounds that they are known to make. Back and forth and forth and back while the husband and I were on Hootchie alert and laughing so hard we nearly shot soup out of our noses.

You see, Hootchie thought she was all of that and a bucket of shrimp as she strode about oblivious to the startled look and head shaking that accompanied her and her slubbery boots. She threw her shoulders back that sent the 'girls' into a frenzy and those shorts to creep up even more. Personally I have never seen denim shorts turn themselves into a thong while being worn and I wish I could go to my grave still never seeing a sight. But it was those boots that did me in. Rain boots, inside, worn as fashion.

And I thought I was fashion challenged. At least my cootchie does not play peek a boo and my hats are worn on top of my head and my rain boots are bright pink iwth paisley designs.

Sideways thought. I once dressed up as a fshion disaster for Halloween at the library and nobody noticed. Make what you want from that. I even made earrings out of those plastic monkeys in that barrel games and wore wildly patterned leggins along with the rest of the outfit and people took it for normal. Still Hootchie Cootchi had me beat.