I am losing it.

 I really don't know how much more of this life I can take.  I feel as if I'm alone and everything is my responsibility.  First I have to pay for the car registration using the company's debit card.  Of course the husband can't do it since he refuses to do any computer stuff so it's up to me.  Then I notice the card expired 7/21.  I tell the husband who sits there looking at me with his mouth open as the wheels slowly grind in his head and then says the card is good until the end of the month.  Guess what.... NO!  Did we get the new card?  Mouth open, wheels grinding finally 'no'.  OK.  Do things for the business come to the PO Box or the old office address or to the home address where the business is now.  Mouth open, wheels grinding, more grinding till I'm told its the home address.  OK.

Now he claims that the company is his and he is the boss only I'm stuck calling Bank of America who ask me for some phone number.  Is it what used to be the office number, the fax number or his cell phone.  He has no idea.  Finally get through and am told it would be sent to the PO box.  A few hours later he finally gets to the PO box and no card.  So I get to call the bank AGAIN.  This time I get through faster but as I'm trying to talk to the woman on the line, he's talking to me.  Finally get it sorted and he complains that it may take 2 to 7 days for the card to come in.  Oh for God's sake.

Then I'm dealing with one of those cash back things where I was supposed to get a whole $2 off my purchase only I never completed it and so they took out $189 as well as walmart taking their $190.  So now am I getting 6 tubs of litter, 4 bras etc which is double of what I wanted but only 1 order and am out cash.  Meanwhile husband is sitting there staring at me with his mouth open,.  I swear I am going to super glue that damned mouth shut.

Yes I know he is getting older but he does nothing around the house.  It's July and the yard hasn't been mowed yet.  Recyclables are piling up.  That's al he needs to do but there he sits surrounded by 3 trays full of junk, not to mentions his flotsam and jetsam spread all over the bay window sill and then he complains that it's hard to move from his chair.  Get rid of two trays and look, you can walk.

We have an abandoned car to get rid of, just a phone call to have it towed.  A lightbulb at the front door to be replaced.  A tax form to be sent out so that COVID cash that was never received could be recovered.  But there he sits

All that is bad enough but he asked me if I was cold in the house.  I am always cold in the house.  Well, for once, so was he.  What does he do?  It's 100 plus degrees outside.  The AC is set to 75.  Does he push it up a notch to 76.  No.  He turns on the hear IN THE SUMMER.

As I said he's getting old but is only 72 not 172.  He needs to get off his ass and get something done around here.  I am tired of handling the business and anything that has to be done on the computer, including ordering groceries and necessities from Walmart etc, taking care of the animals and the house as best I could and I CAN NEVER GET AWAY FROM HIM because he doesn't allow me to go anywhere by myself, he has to drive me to TAKE CARE OF ME!!!!!!!!  Right.  I'm in the process of getting dentures and he bitches if an appoinment is earlier than 10 when I had to get up at 3:30 am and drive him to eye surgery when I could barely see myself and then schedule my cataract surgeries so late in the day that finding a vein was hard because I was so dehydrated.  And he complains about getting up before 10.  Hell.  He even get to go and eat at IHOP while I'm in the dentist chair.

I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!!!!

 Ah back at it.

Have a confession to make.  Not as nice as people think but cross me and all hell will break loose.

Had someone who called herself a friend.  I wasn't all that thrilled with her 'friendship' but felt sorry for her so I stuck it out.  Then she got weird, starting obsessing about something that wasn't obsessible.  She called the house, back when we had a land line and I never answered the phone because it was never for me.  Basement full of boys, playing video games, and she calls, they answer come upstairs to get me.  Conversation ends we hang up.  She calls again and again and again and the last time she calls she's told by some boy that I'm not there and, I think, she said he said she had the wrong number. 

So she brings it up to me.  I explain that I don't answer the phone so maybe one of the sons' friends got tired of answering the phone.  I apologized for it happening.  She brings it up again at another time when we were together in person.  I explain again and apologize and no sooner are the words out of my mouth, she brings it up again, saying I'm only making excuses because I don't want the sons to get in trouble.  Trouble with who (or is it whom?)?  The telephone police?  She knew I wasn't a phone person.  Hate talking on the phone and she calls me 5 times in an hour.

Moving on.  Then she gets a bee in her bonnet about something that never happened, dragging my husband into it and brought up the phone thing again coming right out and calling me a liar.  I may be many things but I DO NOT LIE.  Well that did it.  Then I get an email from someone I don't know asking me about nutjob.  I simply told them that she misremembers things, swears they are true and gets mad at you for what she misremembered.  Stranger says, yes she does that to me to and that was the last I heard of it.

Nutjob got worse.  Decided she was a life coach, she who desperately needed one and was offering her services on an email list.  I put out a word of warning and well.... nutjob went nuts.  She ranted in a long comment on this blog about things that had nothing to do with anything bringing up the phone and the thing about my husband again.  I only got that far, deleted the comment and blocked her.

BUT I WAS MAD.

I have gotten my revenge.  Slowly.  She had herself spread all over the internet and when I find a blog or a face book or a whatever, I read what she writes till her craziness starts again and she brings me up so I comment, always nicely, and she blocks me.  The latest is that she has a flicker account and I complimented her on a picture.  Something she made in Second Life with her supposedly all sexy and beautiful.  So what does she do?  She starts signing me up for all kind of email publications actually naming me in one as pigfacedgranny.  I love pigs.  Think they are adorable so am more amused than anything,  I sent her an email thanking her for it and the email publications and am waiting for her response.

Why am I still doing this.  You don't call me a liar.  You don't bring in something personal about my husband who was never anything but kind to her and her obsessive controlling husband.  Sure.  Smear me but not him and not the sons who were only tired of answering the damned phone.  She can call me all the names she wants but I kinda like pigfacedgranny so I win there as well.  Yes, I win.  I don't win often but this time I won.

Feels good to get that all out.  Anyone who reads this and knows me from way back when also knows of this person.  Just be grateful she's moved on from the Big List.  That is all.

 Going to try a new med to get rid of my constant pain.  I hope it, at least, blunts it a bit but who knows,  At last I have found a doctor who has taken this seriously.  Fingers and toes and eyes crossed.

I was right

I was being warned by my dreams etc.  Charlie died, suddenly (he was only sick for 2 days) and terribly.  I don't know why my brain does this to me.  I wish it would stop.

Random thoughts that flit through my mind

When I was a kid, you could not buy Tastykakes Peanut Butter Tandy Takes (yes, Tandy takes, now they are Kandy Kakes) in the summer because the peanut butter would spoil. This was before everything was air conditioned. And speaking of air conditioning, once a week, my father would take my sister and I up to the local meeting room at the library to watch a docmentary film. It didn't matter what the film was... the room was air conditioned and that was enough for us.

It's been a long time.

Yes, it's been a long time since I was on here.  Truthfully, I forgot all about it till I was cleaning out my bookmarks and found it again.  Really not much to say as life isn't all that interesting.  Sure, there is a supposed Pandemic bu I personally think it's a whole lot of bullshit. 
I've been having odd dreams lately.  I suppose it's all this virus stuff that you can't ignore because it's thrust down your throat at every turn.  I worry about these dreams because they are just too weird and I wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something only I'm too stupid to listen.
Before our house fire, all those years ago, I was having fire dreams which stopped after the fire.  Even many months before the fire, the universe was trying to tell me something.  It wasn't only dreams but winged things.  Let me explain.  First there was the dragonflies.  One Saturday as I sat in the yard a dragonfly was hovering around my face.  Right in front of my face as if to look eye to eye with me.  Or do dragonflies have more than two eyes.  That was odd enough because dragonflies weren't a usual sight.  I thought little of it.  Same day and hour later we off to the post office and while I'm waiting in the car, what is buzzing around it BUT a dragonfly.  I doubt it was the same one.  A few minutes later, I'm getting out of the car at Home Depot and what flies up to me but....I think you know where this is going... a dragonfly.  OK.  So I saw three dragonflies... big whoop.  Ah ha but then it gets stranger.  I'm sitting at my desk in the office and I hear a tapping on the window.  I look to see a sparrow sitting on the sill, tapping on the glass.  Now that was odd.  We didn't feed the birds there.  There were no crumbs on the sill.  There was no reason for a sparrow to be tapping at the window.  Another time, I looked out that same window to see the oddest flock of birds.  Birds of a feather flock together.  We've all heard that except this flock was made up of different birds, rooks, sparrows, pigeons and even a seagull.  They circled the building then lighted on the power lines.  Except the seagull, webbed feet you know are not made for perching on lines.  Crows showed up in the yard to caw and haw and make a right old noise.  A blackbird flew into the front window twice.  Other birds would sit on the ground looking at me as I passed.  BNirds that would usually scatter but there they sat.  Still I didn't see it.
Then life fell apart with our dogs dying.  First Rocco only five, put to sleep when his cancer got too bad.  Little Dog Ollie followed a few months later.  He just gave up and also had to be put to sleep.  He never did close his eyes only stared into Josh's face.  For the first time in decades there were no dogs in  the family, so we got Charlie, who nearly died from a bacterial infection in his stomach, only a week after he joined us.  Once he was well, we got Patty who was dead in three days from Parvo.  Then the house fire.
My doctor asked how I stayed sane.  Who ever said I was sane to begin with?  ONly after the fire when the fire dreams stopped and the winged things left me alone did I see that they were signs.  Signs I never saw.  That's why these weird dreams now are so bothering.  Especially last night's where something horrible happened to my husband.  Sigh. 
So that's it.  Not the funny stuff I used to post.  I think I lost my humor quite some time ago and doubt that I will ever find it again.  Such is life and now it's bedtime.  Hopefully I won't dream tonight.  Fingers crossed.

Should I try again.

I wonder if I should try blogging again.  Don't know.  I think my life is a little too old lady and I get a bit too cranky to be interesting.  I'll have to conside.